Inner Noise vs. Outer Noise

Here is a conversation that happened between a worker in our building and myself last week…

Him: Why you so easy?

MDP: Excuse me?

Him: Why you so easy?

MDP: Can you rephrase that? (slightly confused and offended at this point)

Him: Why you talk so easy?

MDP: I really don’t know what you are trying to ask…

Him: I can’t hear, you talk too soft.

Now, this is not uncommon for me.  MHS tells me that it is a problem when we are out sometimes.  I guess that I am just a soft-spoken person in general compared to other people.  I think that I am speaking at a normal, undisturbing level, but it seems as though most people just can’t hear me.

But this morning on my way to work, I was on a small, 20 passenger van.  There were only 3 of us the van at 8am, but one woman felt the need to ask the bus driver about the inauguration in a level that was way too loud.  Unfortunately, my response to this was not too nice, it was a loud sigh.

The problem is that some people are just way too loud for no apparent reason, as if they can’t tell how loud they are.  But when does that affect your inner noise?  I use that term loosely, it could mean thinking, humming, whatever fits for you.  Can you block something like that out?  Do you get distracted from what you are previously thinking?  For me, I was thinking about what I was going to walk into at work after a busy weekend and I couldn’t get back to my inner noise.

Once at work, one of my supervisors came to me and told me that a document that I did last week was wrong, despite the fact that she and another person proofed it and I just made the final corrections.  I listened to her tell me everything that I did incorrectly, and realized that I was really trying to block her out.  I wasn’t trying to block her out to be rude or insubordinate, but my inner noise still wasn’t right, you know?

So, whatever your noise is, or whatever is interrupting that noise, I hope that you are able to focus.  For me, that is an important thing that I need to keep myself sane.


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